if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
