yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
