I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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