There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
