Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
