College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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