Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
