Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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