Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
