Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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