Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize