Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
