Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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