wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
