It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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