I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
