apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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