all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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