We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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