it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
