then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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