she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
