Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
