so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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