dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
