I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
