Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
