butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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