Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
