Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
All the doctor said was why
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
