Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
