Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
