Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
