I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
