i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
