Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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