so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
