dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So much rum. So many feels.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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