Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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