respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
