The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize