Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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