We're like a lot better than the average bears
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
