Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have aggressive nipples.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
