Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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