Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
