I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
