Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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