every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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