it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
