There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
