You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
