hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
