if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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