smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
