Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
And then he peed in my hair
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