Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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