I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
