I wish my penis had an off switch
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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