That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
