Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
