booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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