New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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