This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
