Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
