From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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