Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
