chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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