Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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