I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
