If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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