jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
