T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize