You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
