I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize