Pants 0. Shit 1.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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