On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize