A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
