He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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