I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
there was a trapeze. enough said
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
