I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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